Dara o briain autobiography of a flea

Closely watching everything. I noted the swelling thighs, which spread upwards above her tightly fitting garters, until they were lost in the darkness, as they closed together at a point where her beautiful belly met them in her stooping position; and almost obliterated a thin and peach-like slit, which just showed its rounded lips between them in the shade.

My curiosity had been aroused, and my desire to know more of the interesting young being with whom chance had so promiscuously brought me in pleasing contact, prompted me to remain quietly ensconced in a snug though somewhat moist hiding place, and it was not until near upon the hour named that I once more emerged in order to watch the progress of events.

Bella had dressed herself with scrupulous care, and now prepared to betake herself to the garden which surrounded the country-house in which she dwelt. Arriving at the end of a long and shady avenue the young girl seated herself upon a rustic bench, and there awaited the coming of the person she was to meet. It was not many minutes before the young man presented himself whom I had seen in communication with my fair little friend in the morning.

A conversation ensued which, if I might judge by the abstraction of the pair from aught besides themselves, had unusual interest for both. It was evening, and the twilight had already commenced: the air was warm and genial, and the young pair sat closely entwined upon the bench, lost to all but their own united happiness. I shall get tired of hearing it soon.

You know, Bella, we are no longer children? There was something catching in her impatience. The youth yielded to it, and covering her beautiful young form with his own, glued his mouth to hers and kissed it rapturously. Meanwhile the evening advanced; the trees lay in the gathering darkness, spreading their lofty tops to screen the waning light from the young lovers.

Presently Charlie slid on one side; he made a slight movement, and then without any opposition he passed his hand under and up the petticoats of the pretty Bella. Not satisfied with the charms which he found within the compass of the glistening silk stockings, he essayed to press on still further, and his wandering fingers now touched the soft and quivering flesh of her young thighs.

Bella's breath came hard and fast, as she felt the indelicate attack which was being made upon her charms. So far, however, from resisting, she evidently enjoyed the exciting dalliance. Charlie needed no further invitation, indeed he was already preparing to advance without one and instantly comprehending the permission, drove his fingers forward.

The fair girl opened her thighs as he did so, and the next instant his hand covered the delicate pink lips of her pretty slit. For the next ten minutes the pair remained almost motionless, their lips joined and their breathing alone marking the sensations which were overpowering them with the intoxication of wantoness.

Dara o briain autobiography of a flea: Human body lice, rather

Charlie felt a delicate object, which stiffened beneath his nimble fingers, and assumed a prominence of which he had no experience. Presently Bella closed her eyes, and throwing back her head, shuddered slightly, while her frame became supple and languid, and she suffered her head to rest upon the arm of her lover. Meanwhile the youth was not idle, but having fairly explored all he could in the constrained position in which he found himself, he rose, and sensible of the need of assuaging the raging passion which his actions had fanned, he besought his fair companion to let him guide her hand to a dear object, which he assured her was capable of giving her far greater pleasure that his fingers had done.

Nothing loth, Bella's grasp was the next moment upon a new and delicious substance, and either giving way to the curiosity she simulated, or really carried away by her newly-roused desires, nothing would do, but she must bring out and into the light the standing affair of her friend. Those of my readers who have been placed in a similar position will readily understand the warmth of the grasp and the surprise of the look which greeted the first appearance in public of the new acquisition.

Bella beheld a man's member for the first time in her life, in the full plenitude of its power, and although it was not, I could plainly see, by any means a formidable one, yet its white shaft and red-capped head, from which the soft skin retreated as she pressed it, gained her quick inclination to learn more. Charlie was equally moved; his eyes shone and his hand continued to rove all over the sweet young treasure of which he had taken possession.

Meanwhile the toyings of the little white hand upon the youthful member with which it was in contact had produced effects common under such circumstances to all of so healthy and vigorous a constitution as that of the owner of this particular affair. Enraptured with the soft pressures, the gentle and delicious squeezings, and artless way in which the young lady pulled back the folds from the rampant nut, and disclosed the ruby crest, purple with desire, and the tip, ended by the tiny orifice, now awaiting its opportunity to send forth its slippery offering, the youth grew wild with lust, and Bella, participating in sensations new and strange, but which carried her away in a whirlwind of passionate excitement, panted for she knew not what of rapturous relief.

With her beautiful eyes half closed, her dewy lips parted, and her skin warm and glowing with the unwonted impulse stealing over her, she lay the delicious dara o briain autobiography of a flea of whomsoever had the instant-chance to reap her favours and pluck her delicate young rose. Charlie, youth though he was, was not so blind as to lose so fair an opportunity; besides, his now rampant passions carried him forward despite the dictates of prudence which he otherwise might have heard.

He felt the throbbing and well-moistened centre quivering beneath his fingers, he beheld the beautiful girl lying invitingly to the amorous sport, he watched the tender breathings which caused the young breast to rise and fall, and the strong sensual emotions which animated the glowing form of his youthful companion. Gently raising the intervening drapery, Charlie still further disclosed the secret charms of his lovely companion until, with eyes of flame, he saw the plump limbs terminate in the full hips and white palpitating belly.

Then also his ardent gaze fell upon the centre spot of attraction—on the small pink slit which lay half hidden at the foot of the swelling mount of Venus, hardly yet shaded by the softest down. The titillation which he had administered, and the caresses which he had bestowed upon the coveted object had induced a flow of the native moisture which such excitement tends to provoke, and Bella lay with her peach-like slit well bedewed with nature's best and sweetest lubricant.

Charlie saw his chance. Gently disengaging her hand from its grasp upon his member, he threw himself frantically upon the recumbent figure of the girl. His left arm wound itself round her slender waist, his hot breath was on her cheek, his lips pressed hers in one long, passionate and hurried kiss. His left hand, now free, sought to bring together those parts of both which are the active instruments of sensual pleasure, and with eager efforts he sought to complete conjunction.

Bella now felt for the first time in her life the magic touch of a man's machine between the tips of her rosy orifice. No sooner had she perceived the warm contact which was occasioned by the stiffened head of Charlie's member, than she shuddered perceptibly, and already anticipating the delights of venery, gave down an abundance of proof of her susceptible nature.

But Nature, which had operated so powerfully in the development of Bella's sensual passions, left yet something to be accomplished, ere the opening of so early a rosebud could be easily effected. Bella's friend, Julia Delmont, becomes Fr. Ambrose's next target. By now completely corrupted and happy to go along with whatever Fr. Ambrose suggests, Bella readily agrees to the Father's next scheme: she will offer herself to Monsieur Delmont, Julia's father, on condition that her face is covered.

The trick is that it will not be Bella who lies there, but Delmont's own daughter. Ambrose seduces Julia and says he will come to her by night and make love to her, but she must hide her face. When the act is consummated, Bella appears and pretends that it was all a big mistake. But since Delmont has now potentially impregnated his daughter, the only way to be sure his incest cannot be discovered is to have all make love to her as well.

In case she is pregnant, nobody can claim that her own father is the baby's father. Bella and Julia eventually become nuns, and the book ends as they participate in an orgy with 14 priests. The Narrator of the story is a flea. The novel begins with the flea asserting that though he gets his living by blood sucking, he is "not the lowest of that universal fraternity".

Despite ostensibly being written from the first person the novel includes descriptions of the feelings and intentions of various characters which seem more fitting with a third person limited omniscient narrator. The main character of the book, Bella, is an orphan who lives with her uncle and aunt. At the beginning of the story she is 14 and is described as being the admired one of all eyes and the desired one of all hearts — at any rate among the male sex [ page needed ].

She begins the book sexually naive, but inquisitive.

Dara o briain autobiography of a flea: Dara O'Briain tells a story

Very little description is given of Charlie, and after a brief mention in Chapter 3 he ceases to play any part in the story. A priest aged 45, described as having a handsome face, with jet black eyes and as being short and stout. The narrator says Ambrose's mind is dedicated to the pursuit of lust, and much of the novel's plot is due to his machinations.

After initiating Bella into the ways of unrestrained sensuality, and planning to keep her for himself, he is discovered by the Brother Superior and Brother Clement, who insist he share Bella with them. Many scenes of multiple acts of all varieties ensue. Ultimately, Ambrose decides to expand the circle of debauchery by insisting Bella involve her friend the fair and innocent Julia Delmont.

Father Clement is one of the "brothers" of Father Ambrose and is a participant and co conspirator in the seduction of Bella. He is described as ugly and possessed of an absolutely gargantuan penis. A memorable scene occurs when Clement mistakes the bedroom he believes is occupied by Bella, and throws himself on Bella's puritanical and rigid aunt.

After initially believing the advances are those of her husband, with whom she has not been intimate in many years, she feels Clement's enormous size, and leaps up. Clement forces her down, and after initial resistance, she succumbs.

Dara o briain autobiography of a flea: Download subtitles for "Reproduction"

They are discovered and Clement escapes out the window. Bella's aunt goes progressively insane, screaming for the "priest with the big tool". The Autobiography of a Flea was adapted into a film in directed by Sharon McNight [ 4 ] [ 5 ] from her own screenplay. Contents move to sidebar hide. Archived from the original on 2 October Retrieved 8 November Live Brum, 17 March Retrieved on 28 May Archived from the original on 19 January Retrieved 19 January Retrieved on 16 September Looking forward to seeing you there!

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Dara o briain autobiography of a flea: The book is a

Retrieved 1 May Retrieved 20 September I'm an ugly bloke! Archived 20 December at the Wayback Machine ". Irish Independent15 February Retrieved on 15 November Retrieved on 12 November Retrieved 16 August Will definitely be trying to achieve that every week". Archived from the original on 6 October Retrieved 26 May Archived from the original on 1 August Retrieved 27 May Archived from the original on 28 October